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I can’t count the number of times I’ve gotten food poisoning from eating my grandmother’s food. Wait, “Gotten” is not the right word–”been given” is more accurate. In her Stegasauric-sized brain, my grandmother was convinced that my allergy to mushrooms was, she claimed, “All in your goddamned head, Miggin.” Countless times at family dinners at […]

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A friend of mine–a much younger and hencely, DUMBER friend, recently suggested that perhaps it was time for me to join a dating site that was more appropriate for my age. “One that’s for–” I watched as her infantile brain searched for the right words that wouldn’t offend me.  She searched in vain.   She spoke slowly, ” You know, […]

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This was an email I recently received from one of the forty five online dating sites I subscribe to:  “Your dating profile has been viewed 2861 times.”  Seriously now, this was supposed to make me feel good???  Knowing that out of 2861 men who looked at my profile, only two  found me reasonably attractive enough to “wink,”  knowing […]

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Stone Sisters Monolith

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